Limerence
A downloadable visual novel for Windows, macOS, and Linux
This is a story of love not quite unrequited but unrealized. Of two souls longing for etheric purity over the grounded. For the subdued comfort of a dreamy haze over the real. It is all that, and a wish granted.
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I read through all of this. I'll admit, I got bored towards the end of my reading, even zoning out at times. At times, it read a bit pretentiously. Yet, I learned new words, and I could see the care in each sentence. It was written very beautifully at that. Albeit, because the story was so focused on details, descriptions, and explanations, it did bog down the story to a very slow pace. Regardless, I liked how I finally got to know all of the characters' names towards the end. That was a neat reveal there. However, it would have been interesting for everyone's names to be omitted, since the story plays on the idea of what is real and illusory. That is why when the reader learns of a certain character's death, it broke the dreamy trance of the world that had already been built up by then. It went from abstract ponderings to real-world realities, which I felt broke the tone, mood, and atmosphere of the story. However, the story does go back to its otherworldly questions, environments, and sentiments. Thus, the climax doesn't ultimately shift the story's tone into another direction, which I was relieved to have found out. Ultimately, with its charming and painterly visuals, emotional and poignant piano pieces, and moody and introspective dialogue, I give this NVL-style visual novel a 7/10.
Thank you, I appreciate your thought out impressions and critiques! I think all your points are quite valid, and the feedback helps me look at things a bit more impartially. And overall, I'm happy to see that the experience seems to have been mostly a positive one given your score. Though by all means if you feel that this deserves a lower marking, I won't be offended. Honesty is the best policy and all that
I thought it was good. It was just a bit long-winded, was all. Although, I was expecting a sadder ending, one of longing, considering the title of the story was called Limerence. I was expecting a more bittersweet story, not a hopeful one. That somehow makes it feel as if they didn't have limerence, since they technically mutually reciprocated each other's company and feelings, even if they both didn't entirely realize that. However, having looked up the definition of limerence, I can see the meaning behind it in the context of this story. Again, it was well-written. The pacing was just slow and meandering at times from its purple prose to its descriptive narration.
To give my two cents, I agree with ActiveDayDreamer about the death scene. It's not like this and the protagonist's reaction to it lack verisimilitude, as death (even sudden death) is a normal fact of life and (spoiler) girls are known to cry due to a lot of things that we, men, wouldn't cry over, but maybe they're too sudden from the narrative standpoint, that is, perhaps they do indeed break the flow. For me it wasn't the death itself that seemed odd, but the fact that she cried over it. Previously she talked a lot about the guy and it never seemed to me that her feelings for him were so strong as to merit such a reaction. It almost seems as if she were insincere in her narration, as if she tried to hide her true feelings (which doesn't make much sense, I think, considering the story as a whole), which is why her reaction felt odd. There's not enough foreshadowing to prepare the reader/player for this plot development.
Thanks, that's good to know! I see your point about the reaction, and perhaps some better foreshadowing would have helped sell her response better. Although I'm done with Limerence for the time being, this is all useful feedback to consider for when I write future stories
Just my opinion, obviously. Other people might think differently. Also, so as not to provide only criticism of it (in the negative sense of the word), let me say that I think that, compared to Digital Seclusion, Limerence is a much more refined work formally, although personally I prefer the former simply because it was a bolder work in various senses. I also liked the Platonic (as in literally Platonic) tone of your latest VN and would have enjoyed it more if this element had been developed in a way that was intellectually more thorough. I felt that philosophically your work opened up some interesting paths but explored them very little.